how we got there
2026 Diver Van Avery
my eight year old daughter cringes at my Spanish
while I try to ask the kindergartener in our car
what her favorite specialists are
I know the words for art and music
but can’t find gym or media in my middle aged decay
her voice is so quiet, I would not hear her answer
even if I knew the words she was speaking
so we are all quiet, driving to get the fifth grader
after stop signs and red lights I ask her if she has a dog or a cat
she says tengo un gato
what did she say? my kiddo asks
she has a cat
como se llama su gato
what did you ask? my kiddo asks
what is your cat’s name
labubu says the little voice
and my daughter laughs her deepest most delicious laugh
until we are all smiling
my daughter collects labubus whenever she can
and thinks about collecting them whenever she can’t
and that is such a good name for a cat
“I never even thought of that name for a cat”
my kiddo says who is always naming
our imaginary cat
literally, the current top name for our future cat, literally
the little girl is pleased and smiling too
by then we have gotten to the
fifth grader’s duplex
once she squeezes into the back seat
there is always good chat
she tells us there is gonna be drama at recess
and she loves roller skating
and she believes in god but is not Christian
and her parents clean Target at night
and she burned her forehead with her straightener
which hurt a lot
but her hair looks good
good chat the whole ten blocks
now we are getting out of the hot car into the cold morning
which means it is time for my favorite part
I get to hold the tiny hand of the kindergartner
who does not say a word
but takes my hand without question
and holds it with intention
we cross the street fast in a break between buses and cars
she does not remember my name
but we hold hands all the way to the door
for weeks and weeks
there are brave adults everywhere
who are also scared and angry
but the kids are the bravest of us all
getting into cars of carefully selected but unknown adults
tiny hands, little black and white nike high tops,
bows in straightened hair
things to say or nothing to say at all
the chance to get them across short but perilous distances,
to get them through
is what I will remember
as how I got through, too